Comic Books - A H2G2 Entry

I've been indulging in a little too much Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy of late and just as I was about to go to bed (after an hour of so of reading through various wikis about H2G2 and Douglas Adams) that I thought it would be fun to write an article in the style of The Guide. After a few seconds of ,"Oh no, what the hell am I going to write about?" I immediately thought, "Go with what you know!" and thought it would be fun to do one about comic books... especially as the first paragraph came to me almost immediately. It immediately lent itself to the next paragraph and it became more and more a rather scathing piece of satire on fandom itself, but it seemed to fit so well imho with what Adams' would do that I decided to keep going and it eventually found it's finish point a couple of paragraphs later.

Comic Books

 

Comic Books are regarded by some to be the pinnacle of mankind’s attempt at literature. Like most classic tales their stories focus on the trials and tribulations of Men and Gods, ghouls and goblins, scantily clan maidens fighting off even more scantily clad monsters, but with the added convenience of being able to roll them up and stick them in your back pocket for later.

 

It’s worth noting that this opinion is not shared by most of the population on Earth, who tell those that do to, “Grow up, get out of the basement and get a real life!” In fact this is what most of them eventually would do, right up until the point at which the internet was created. This simple invention actually gave them more of an excuse to stay in their respective basements; where they would spend countless hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, and even centuries, when technology preserved their brain patterns, all to let some complete stranger know that they were wrong about everything.

 

Even though the Earth was blown up by the Vogon constructor fleet, numerous internet ‘bulletin boards’ and ‘message boards’ still exist as signals floating in subspace, and many, many, more species have taken up the fight to find out once and for all if AmazinGuy can defeat SuperDude despite, or maybe even because of, the fact that none of the participants in the discussions having even read the original source material to begin with.

 

It should also be noted that a dedicated fan was sent through the time-space continuum with a goal to finally finding out the answer, once and for all, but unfortunately was unable to strike up a conversation with anyone she thought could help. Some say it was because she was dressed up as SuperDude’s barely clothed cousin ‘iCandy’, and people could bare contain themselves around her. Another theory is that people simply refused to talk to her because they claimed she was "fake", despite assurances to the contrary and documents from several of the galaxies best surgeons. She eventually abandoned the cause, and the planet which she could have easily have saved due to her almost god like powers, and reported back her findings on her personal Sub-Etha channel, as well as uploading numerous flattering photos of herself to Spacebook.