So this entry is being posted a lot later than I would have
liked it too, mostly because as you can tell by the title I’m feeling a little
blocked. I had a couple of topics in mind but for the most part I didn’t want to
do yet another ranty post, lest I start to gain a reputation for such things. I
could imagine it know, “Sure he seems like a nice guy, but have you seen the
angry filth that he writes about?” And truth be told I do get like that when
I’m passionate about something and I need to get it out.
Wow, I managed to get a paragraph out without thinking about
the block again. Okay, I figured this is a good time to explain a couple of
things about me and my writing, or the ‘lack’ of it for the most part. For the
most part I feel like doing something, but I either don’t feel particularly
creative or inspired to do anything, or I’m in a mood when I want to consume
instead of creative (sometime Kevin Smith talks about, and I think he’s spot on
about). I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts, interviews, or convention
panels a lot of late, which I think is partially responsible for me at least
feeling talkative. Dammit, okay, I’ll get to the point… in fact that is my
point. Sometimes what I really need to do is just finally get off my arse and
sit down to write, but when I’m not feeling it I start to get distracted, just
as big a problem as not feeling up to writing. I’m currently writing this on a
crappy laptop that barely has any battery life it in when unplugged, with just
enough processing power to use Word and maybe upload it to the interwebs (in
fact I save the word files to my dropbox account and upload it from my main
computer because using java on here kills it).
At this moment you are probably going, “Well you talk about
a Writer’s Block, but here you are blathering like usual!” And that’s one of
the ways I get around it. A smarty, better and probably more handsome author
then me who I can’t remember for the life of me one said something along of the
lines of ‘just start writing and the words well flow and blah blah blah’…
honestly I was starting to write this down and I completely forgot who said it
and what they said, but hell it if doesn’t just work sometimes. Sometimes you
just don’t want to go for a walk, but you just need to take those first few
steps then suddenly you’re half way around the block and have to walk back
anyway… I need to start walking again. Sometimes it’s not what you write, but
that you are in fact writing. Which neatly brings me to another point I wanted
to make today...
You may have noticed a distinct non-linear progression to
some of my posts, especially this one, and sadly I’m completely sober as I
write these. I pretty much like to write in a ‘stream of thought’ kind of style
in my blog post and in my personal journal. Even though I do edit myself on the
fly when I notice my terrible spellin and gramma, for the most part I don’t
tend to revise and/or change most of my posts. The “J.J. Abrams directing Star
Wars post where it totally turned into what I hated about Star Trek XI” post is
pretty much a testament to that as I really wanted to talk about what I thought
the positive and negative things Abrams might bring to the franchise, but to
explain my concerns I needed to reference Star Trek XI and next thing I know
I’m a page in, and I even decided to put an entire rant to notations because it
was getting too distracting to the point I was trying to make but wanted to keep it. I suppose ultimately
I’m writing these thing for myself more then I’m trying to entertain to a
degree, if some cats like it then I’m thrilled, if they don’t then who gives a
crap.
I find there is some degree is freedom in writing this way,
especially as I sometimes always find essay writing so restrictive,
boring and repetitive. Strangely enough I enjoyed helping my friend Jon with
one of his essays by helping him to tart it up and extend his word count
without altering much of the content. Get me to write like that and you’ll have
to drag me to the keyboard. Sometimes the anxiety of doing an essay overloads
any ability to write the damn things and I just spend (what feels like) hours
looking at a blinking cursor even when I’ve got a whole load of information
just waiting to pour out onto the screen. I was also recently trying to write a
script for a web series I’m working on (with the aforementioned Jon) and when I
finally started writing, it just felt cold and stale. When I finally got into
writing a, admittedly long winded, tutorial as part of the show, it just felt
flat and uninspired. I know if you sat me down in front of a camera I could
tell you all about this stuff and make it interesting, but writing it down just
felt like it took all the vibrancy out of it. It’s something I need to work on
if I’m ever going to wrap my head around making this show work.
A couple of small things whilst I finish, one thing that
came to mind recently is that I don’t want to make these posts longer then a
page, this is one of the reasons I stopped writing the Abrams post and quickly
tried wrapping it up. This is mostly because I don’t want to bore the reader,
especially if I’m somehow managing to write this much on a delay basis… DON’T
hold me to that, I just know there will be a post very soon where it will be
‘Meh, don’t have it in me to write today’, although I’m hoping to start writing
extra stuff and keep it logged for scheduling like on Saturday (when I knew I
wouldn’t be in to write anything all day.. work too huh?), especially as I have
a con coming up where I’ll be volunteering at a games centre all weekend. I’m
also hoping to not make the posts as late as this one, again aiming for 6pm
like my scheduled posts. I suppose it all depends on what’s going on in my life
and what I feel like talking about whenever I write something down. Oh and I’ve
invented a drinking game for this blog, every time I take a tangent, you take a
shot… I’m rating this one as 4 Skulls.
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