Electorally Conflicted

As the deadline looms closer to Saturday’s Federal Election, I find myself morally conflicted on who to vote for, as I assume a lot of people are as well. I’m hoping through the sheer act of typing all this out that I’ll somehow come to a magical conclusion, but I’m sceptical it’ll be that easy. On the one hand I don’t want to vote to any of the major political parties, neither of them have managed to sway me with their policies, on the other hand I really really REALLY can’t fucking stand Tony Abbott. You would think that it would be simple, Vote 1 Rudd right?

Well no, I don’t fully care for some of his views on things like the Carbon Tax and whilst the NBN would be an awesome thing, I believe there is still some issues about privacy and censorship that still need to be ironed out (like full privacy and no censorship... but I’m obviously living in a world of make believe if I think that’ll ever fucking happen), however his stance on Gay Marriage is a selling point... although if I think for a minute that the bill he says he is proposing will go through relatively unscathed then I’m definitely more delusional than I actually believe.

I also firmly believe that Abbott has got an incredibly strong chance of becoming PM, not because of his sound policies (which he has none), or strong economic plans (same again), or because he’s the man for the job (back to self delusion territory). No I think he appeals to the lowest common denominator; he’s a backwards, misogynistic homophobe (or catholic). Honestly this wouldn’t be enough to sway the votes in my humble opinion, but he’s got the full support by the Sith Lord Rupert Morduck, whose campaign has been mostly about destroying the public image of Labor, Gillard, and Rudd, mostly because trying to make Abbott seem like a decent human being was beyond even the power of the Dark Side of the Force.

So I’m torn. I usually give my vote to anyone but the major parties, and slowly work my way through backwards through all the other ones I can’t stand like One Nation, Christian Democrats (contradiction in terms), until I finally vote for the least detestable party... I think I vote for the Guns and Fisheries once, but I can’t remember. Although after the last election, I’m more worried now more than ever.

Last Federal Election was a tie and the PM seat was ultimately determined by the Independents in the House of Representative, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it clearly had a psychological impact on these last three years. During this time we’ve been constantly reminded that Gillard got in on a plea bargain... the hypocrisy is that this is obvious an Abbott tactic but the same would have been for him if HE had gotten in. During that same period the WA State Election was similarly deadlocked, and ultimately Colin Barnett got through, and some would say this was a bad thing (I’m one of them). He recently got re-elected back into office for no sensible reason beyond apparently I’m living in a state slightly over half filled with morons (or the fact that State Labor can’t get them themselves elected for love nor money), but it’s bothersome because this does seem like an indication of things to come.

Again, I’m torn. Some of the minor parties I agree with, some I don’t. For example I’m feeling the need to vote Green because I’m hoping they might be a balancing force if Lord Tone gets into power, but some of their environmental policies don’t sit well with me (one touting a 100% carbon free environmental policy... which is just stupid when you think about it!) but their social policies I’m quite keen on, however I’ve read probably a little bit too much about environmental activism (and how much of it is just sheer bullshit) which honestly clouds my judgment. So I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind voting for the Secular Party but I can’t help but feel like I’m pissing my vote away, which I know isn’t logically true, but it feels like it. Wikileaks Party sounds like a fantastic idea, until they turned around and supported One Nation... pass. Similar things can be said about other parties like The Sex Party, The Nationals...

Wait what about the Nationals? They are part of a coalition with the Liberals, and I strongly believe this was one of the reasons that Johnny Howard was able to sustain his position for as long as he did. Why is that? Every seat that the Nationals win counts as a Liberal win, their combined totals allow them to potentially win the Election with Liberals naturally taking the top spot (which the National leader becoming Deputy PM, but who honestly cares a fuck about that position in politics). Sounds stupid doesn’t it, but apparently dems da rules. So whenever I heard people go. “I don’t like Liberal, I’m voting National!” it makes me want to facepalm so hard I fear I’ll crack my skull open.

Oh and then there is the Senate voting, which should be a lot easier... and because it kinda is, but don’t let that fool you. Voting into the power a third party can be a great balancer whenever the House of Representatives want to push through some bullshit onto the people, but it works both ways as it could possibly delay something beneficial too. That role for the longest time was taken care of by the Australian Democrats, whose slogan was “Keep the bastards honest”, but their power was demolished from the backlash of the GST.

Okay let’s back up a second. From what I remember John Howard throughout most of his political career has been wanting to introduce the Goods and Services Tax, but it become sometime akin to political poison when John Hewson used it in his bid to become PM in 1993, and ultimately lost to Paul Keating. When Jackboot Johnny got into power in 1996 it seems that it was always lurking the background somewhere, despite Jonny saying during a televised debate “No GST, never ever.” Then he finally brought it in after the 2000(?) election. Somehow the public perception became that the Australian Democrats were responsible for the GST in ways I don’t even want to go into. This ultimately led to a massive loss for the Australian Democrats in the 2004 election, but in the biggest “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???” moment in politics the Liberal Party got voted in leading the Senate AND the House of Representatives... which lead to the unopposed introduction to the “Work Choices” program, which I’m sure everyone remembers was a good thing </sarcasm>. The point here is DON’T VOTE FOR THE MAJOR PARTY! But I suppose it’s a moot point most of the time nowadays.

Ultimately I suppose I think it’s a great thing that we have to vote, we all have a direct way of expressing how we wish the country to proceed, but I instinctively don’t like politicians and I don’t like the bullshit that comes with it. I’m still torn on this, and I don’t think that feeling will go away even after I put my ballet in the box.