Friday, 8 February 2013

Daily Discovery #1 – It may be a Plumb job, but it’s not for me.

Today I’m taking a page out of my friend Mandy’s facebook and start what may be a semi-regular topic, or I could just abandon it completely after this post so we’ll see what the future brings.

Either way, today I discovered something about myself that I suppose I’ve always suspected but never truly confirmed. I may in fact bare a striking resemblance to Mario Mario but I’ll never be a plumber. Why you may indeed be asking? Well today I was given the glorious task of replacing a seat and lid for my Gran’s toilet.

You see previously with my Grandad’s weak back and legs, it was decided to help aid him in going to the bathroom that he’ll get what essentially a raised toilet seat and a support frame, which I believe was rented to my grandparents by a pensioner care agency. Well with his passing it was obviously just a waste of money to keep this thing around because as frail as my Gran is, she didn’t need it and she needs to save some money now that her pension has been cut down. So anyway to install one of these things they have to remove the seat and lid, all well and good as the raised seat has one and it would block installation, except that they took the old seat and lid with them. The people who removed the new raiser said they would return with a replacement seat and lid, so it’s all good… except that this apparently was on Tuesday. So of course I find this out today when I was given the task of going down and replacing said toilet seat/lid (after a trip to Bunnings).

Now just to clarify a couple of things, I’ve never installed or uninstalled a toilet seat in my life, nor in fact have I ever done anything plumbing related except replacing some tap bits (which for the most part I just stood and stared as my friend did most of the work). It was all good because I got Toilet Seat 101 from my Dad just before I was kicked off to run this errand whilst he was getting ready for work. Another thing to clarify is that I’m a bit of a germaphobe, but mostly when I’m dealing with other people’s things, coupled with the fact that I tend to get nauseas around faeces or implied faeces, unknown toilets aren’t a pleasant place for me. Now when I have to get my face close to a bowl to unscrew things to put the new lid on… I won’t say I was in Hell, but it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience for me. This is not to sat that the toilet itself wasn’t clean or anything like that, and I’m guessing it was mostly psychological, but it was at that point I know I’ll never ever become a plumber except within the boundaries of a video game… or at least a video game that’s set in a kingdom of mushrooms.


  1. I just watched an episode of QI and so I read that entire post in Stephen Fry's voice. Splendid!

    I think dealing with tat kind of plumbing takes a particularly strong stomach that few people are suited to.

  2. ROFL! I don't think it takes a strong stomach, just someone who just doesn't mind going somewhere where other people go.